Every parent whose spent even a modicum of time with their child learns one inalienable truth about kids; They Stan harder than any fan boy/girl has ever stanned for their favorite characters. When I was a kid I had a thing for Super Grover and Lambchop-which is a really fucked up name to give a living lamb but ok. I was a little bit older than most of their target demographic but every song Barney made was a Bop. I also had a secret crush on Derek (Hey, y’all remember when all the black characters on TV had black-kid names? Shaun, Alfie, Derek, TJ, Mike, Jamaal. I see you, early 90’s, and I’m sick of your shit.) so I clocked a surprising number of preschool television for a nine year old girl but I lived in Florida so blame that.
As anyone who has mentioned the words Sun or Sunny in a sentence to my eldest can attest, Savannah loves Sunny Day. She’s also into Shuri, JoJo Siwa and any of the assorted characters of Frozen. Miles has saved his affection for Carpet washers, Lawnmowers and Mac n Cheese until recently when he became OBSESSED with Blippi. Blippi is the type of show that absolutely captivates kids and makes their parents want to order a lobotomy with extra scramble. It’s not that he’s loud or obnoxious, no. Blippi is a fun-host (like a fun-mom but without the condoms and vodka) so he jumps around and teaches kids fundamentals while talking it what I can only describe as the “I mastered in ‘My Gym’ while attending ‘Disney on Ice’ University and working at ‘Nick Jr.’ during my ‘PBSKids’ internship” fake. You know the voice. Imagine you’re at the park minding your business, eating some dipping dots while scrolling through your Instagram bc your therapist said you needed to get out and be around people more but people are too ‘people-y’ so this is the best ya got. A small child approaches you crying and appears in distress. What voice did you talk to them in? I don’t need to ask, the voice was “oh you sweet baby angel!” and I know this because it’s universal. So yeah, lots of cloying tones and blue and orange. Blippi also has impromptu musical numbers which makes Blippi Miles’ bae and with his birthday approaching he made it clear that he wanted a Blippi cake. Here the phrase “made it clear” means “told me three days before his party that he didn’t want Cars cupcakes”. After trying literally anything to get out of it I resigned myself to making a cake. I’d love to tell you a long, drawn out story about how I had to consult with a baking guru and gain her secrets by undergoing a sacred flour sifting ritual….but it wasn’t all that. Marshmallow fondant is surprisingly easy to make and because my customers pallets are used to booger’s, play-doh and chicken nuggets, I used boxed cake mix and canned icing. Miles LOVED it. Miles is very low key, shy, sensitive-a painter (Sorry for that Chicago reference) so parties aren’t his deal. We kept it small and had a quick 90 minute gathering after work and before bed. He was so excited to get his much anticipated Mickey Mouse couch (ask me about that Pain in the Ass Present one day. Just ask.) and to see all his favorite people including his grandmas and his girlfriends(it’s a complicated mother-daughter triangle and I honestly try to stay out of it.)! Pics below!
