Growing Big

Savannah did a “big puzzle” (12 pieces) by herself for the first time today. I suspect she could have done this months ago but she likes to do them with me so I’ve still been helping and it didn’t dawn on me until this morning to ask her to do it alone. She seemed a little hesitant at first and in that hesitation I almost jumped in and reminded her about how we start. First we flip the pieces around and then we find parts of the picture that look the same..but in the seconds it took for me to doubt her ability she had already swooped up two pieces of yellow dinosaur and connected them. “This goes here and this goes there and this leaf looks like this one.” she coached herself. On and on until in just a few minutes she had assembled the picture. “I made this all by my own self!” She triumphantly exclaimed, bouncing up and down. It only took a few minutes but as those seconds ticked by I realized just how fast she’s growing up. While doing flash cards this morning, I noticed she was only tripped up once by her old nemesis “F”(she always thinks it’s an E.) and she was able to count the objects to figure out what the higher, spelled out numbers were. When it was time to get dressed, she put her underwear, pants and socks on before I even made it back downstairs with her shirt…and she only needed me to help her get one arm out. Somewhere between stealing my drinks while she was still in diapers and learning how to walk my baby grew up on me. She’s morphed into this Preschool kid who looks the same as my Michelin Man Armed Bubaloo but with way more attitude and far more natural abilities than I give her credit for.

Change is hard. I’m not it’s biggest fan, even though it’s constant and unstoppable. I am notorious for refusing to acknowledge even small changes and going with the flow has never been my strong suit. Parenting has helped me grow into change much better than any other process but I still have my limitations. However, growth is beautiful. I have watched this child grow from a tiny human whose only form of communication was Raptor Screeching in varied pitches into a little girl who, very clearly, will tell you that you need to hush so she can watch her shows. I have watched her go from her weird army-crawl-scoots to teaching herself to ride a scooter in a few hours. From snuggling further down into my arms, her tiny hands wrapped around my neck, snoring softly-her sweet milk breath in my face to tucking her into her bed and listening to her snoring LOUDLY from the next room. Most days my heart is full to bursting and each moment I watch her move a little further away from dependency, and step boldly into independence, it swells and shudders. But God, the pride on her face when she finished that puzzle was a moment I’ll remember always. I have to look for that more; the sweet in the bitter.

Let 2019 be the year of my little ones burgeoning Self Reliance. Let her learn all the new and exciting things she can do physically and mentally. Let her grow closer to Earth and all it’s inhabitants. Let her be. Great. Bold. Inspiring. Sassy. Introspective. Shy. Adventurous. Whatever she desires, let her be. And let me never stand in her way.